A long time ago, a movie series made and indelible impact on us as a society. It became a reference point for good and evil, a template for romance, a paradigm of social commentary. It set the political landscape of Western countries for decades to come.
Last Sunday, I binge-watched all, so that you don’t have to. Let’s see if I can still tell them apart.
Twilight (2008): Setting the scene for a legendary romance between a high-school girl and a centenarian, Twilight paints over their initial union with a bleak, cold blue filter, because it is known that bleakness and love are intertwined. Although stacked with was to be established as a very talented cast, led by Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, it’s a slow movie with awkward characters and scenes. I hated it when I first saw it, but given that I had forgotten any of the “plot” details over the years, it was like a first watch. And the main problem with it, as well as several of the following movies, is that it just has next to no story to tell, founded on conceits that make little to no sense. There’s some action going on, when a group of not-so-nice you-know-whats shows up, with the sole purpose of conjuring some kind of conflict, but it all gets sorted as quickly as it emerges. If anything, I guess the style of this one, while also emblematic of the decade, is a brave choice given the genre, from director Catherine Hardwicke. It doesn’t work, but still brave. 4
Twilight: New Moon (2009): If the first movie felt like a let-down, the follow-up managed to top that. As our leads try to reconcile the dangers of inter-species relationships, we add a third-wheel to the mix, the masculine archetype played by Taylor Lautner. The Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate which split the world in a manner that was to seem prescient never makes much sense to me, given that the choice is never up in the air. Bella always knew what she wanted, the way a teenager normally does. New Moon has even less of a plot to go on and while it removes the melancholy filter, it somehow manages to play as even more of a downer. The story is only moved forward by introducing the to-be villains of the series, a vampire council, and it concludes on a marriage proposal. Fade to black. 3
Twilight: Eclipse (2010): The third part of the series highlighted what really makes the series work – some action. A minor-villain from the first movie reappears and works about to get together an army, in order to enact revenge on poor Bella. In the mean time, Edward and Jacob have a tussle about who loves her more and who is willing to do what in order to protect her. For the first time in however many minutes it’s been, we get to know a little bit about the supporting cast – a couple of back stories add some colour to the characters and showcase, once more, how the series could have been more interesting if only it had not been a PG-13 misplaced romance. A lot of to and fro and we’re set for a big finale, which is medium sized really, but mildly entertaining. At least given the standards we’ve been saddled with. Now, back to the wedding. 5
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011): Which is going to take an inordinate amount to unfold. But that’s all Harry Potter’s fault and their splitting of the final book in two movies to cash in. It barely worked there, but here the whole first part is absolutely junk. What does happen after some frolicking is that Bella becomes pregnant and because we need some conflict, Jacob’s gang takes that as an existential threat and we work towards this showdown for another hour. Twilight never shines when it relies on special effects, but it does a particularly poor job of it in introducing its CGI baby, hilariously named Renesmee. What’s absolutely skin crawling is the way Bella is made to look horrifically life-deprived, with a couple of shots that feel like borderline snuff. And for no good reason, either, because we well know there are just no real stakes in this series. 3
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012): As we embark on the final ride, it becomes clear that the vaguely interesting stuff out of the last book was all left for this part. After Bella finally becomes what she craved to be, we go through an hour or so of the movie in adding characters who are immediately more interesting than the ones we’ve been following up until this point. Of course, there’s not time to dig deep into anything, as all the elements are aligned for a final showdown between the good guys and the not-so-good guys. And this…is actually fun. A vicious battle, drama, plot twists, I actually thought it was a satisfactory sequence to wrap up the conflict. A mushy ending that looks back upon this journey also plays well, within the kitschy sensibilities of the series, so this is almost like a half-decent movie. But just if you don’t think about it at all. 5
There was this moment in time when YA content was flooding the cinemas, with some of it entertaining, but a lot of it just uninspired. Twilight was, whether I like it or not, a phenomenon, it had a staying power that is completely unwarranted by the story it told – and the way it told it. Starting with the disturbing premise of a completely mismatched couple, which is solved by making sure the two characters are as generic as possible, and going into a series of template scenes with no emotional weight, I thought Twilight was, like the spin-off it kind of spawned (i.e. Fifty Shades), just middle-of-the-road stuff. What’s even more striking is how humourless it plays, in a self-conscious way that further weighs down this preposterous story.
That said, the all-around solid cast that it relies on is arguably the key to its success. Excellent casting choices pump some blood into its aneurytic arteries, with the likes of Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen making this a bit easier to sit through. Carter Burwell’s music also helps, which leads me to say that this is not a saga without talent, but Stephanie Meyer’s source material and Melissa Rosenberg’s treatment of it are the crux of why what could have been a fun, derivative movie series is so much less than.
(I mean, you know the writing ain’t great when in over 600 minutes of screen time, I didn’t feel the urge to write down one quote. But I will add that I was looking forward to watching the Pitch Meeting after each of these, excellent stuff.)
tributary stu 